ALONE AGAIN YET NOT FOREVER
by Sutoriitoenzeru-Street Angel
Summary: HP SM x-over Remus x Usagi Usagi POV ONESHOT “Because I knew,” he paused, “that if you came you wouldn’t stop yourself from doing what’s right, but then,” he looked saddened now, “I knew you’d leave again.”


**Bad me, should not have started this. Minor Usagi x HP character craze phase here! :-) 'When the Moon Descends' and 'Angel of the Crystallized Moon' have been postponed until further notice. Or until I can be bothered to write more! So that's that, read on McDuff!!!**

Old and yellowing parchment, neat script elegantly flowing across the page, the ink is emerald green and I recognise the writing, I know who sent it but I still do not know why. I have opened the envelope and it now lies empty and otherwise useless at the side, motionless. I unfold the letter and straighten it over my kitchen table and gaze upon it, my blues eyes reading it quickly.

He's going to die, I already knew that, they all do in the end, well, earlier than normal humans; it's a shame for them really. Why is Dumbledore telling me what he knows I already know, he has bid me return and I will not. A wave of my hand and another piece of parchment and a quill aside it, is laid before me. I pick it up as it fills with ink silently and I begin to write…

'Dear Dumbledore,

Although I am flattered at your choice of me as your new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher I must decline the position in favour of remaining away from Hogwarts. Please do not take this as an offence but my business at Hogwarts ended many years ago and since then I have dealt with more than any normal person should have.

Please bid him goodbye from me for I will have to refrain from doing it myself, and look after the boy, he did not deserve what Fate has dealt him, it appears Destiny will have her way after all.'

I pause in my writing knowing not what to put next, there is so much I want to say but so very few words to describe them. Some things cannot be written and some cannot be said…

'I must however congratulate you on finding me though it can't have been hard; you always seem to be able to do anything. I don't think I will ever truly know why and you most undoubtedly refuse to tell me, why would you? You owe nothing to me.

I am sorry,

With best regards,

Usagi Tsukino'

I signed the base of the document and folded it neatly, as I did an envelope much like the one the precious letter arrived in appeared before me; I pick it up and place the letter neatly into it. The snowy white owl that had brought me the news still stood solitarily outside my door and I smile slightly at it's determination for a response. I suppose out of annoyance or impatience it snatches the letter in its powerful talons and swoops off, climbing high into the sky.

It has a long way to go, I probably won't receive a response until next week; goodness knows how long it took to get here. I trudge to the bedroom and collapse onto the bed, I am tired and soon all is no more.

A gentle rustle of the wind blows by me as I brush loose strands of golden blonde hair away from my face. I brush it behind my ear and look at the fluttering, lacy dress that is mine by birthright. I was Princess Serenity of the Luna Kingdom and now I am Neo Queen Serenity of the Silver Alliance although it hardly exists any longer with the death of my friends.

They sacrificed their power so as that I could defeat Chaos and because they gave me their strengths there was nothing to bring back, they are gone forever and I can never die. Mamo-chan is gone and Ami, Rei, Makato, Minako, Haruka, Michiru, Setsuna, Hotaru-chan, why did it have to end this way?

I look up and shining at me, though as empty as my heart is the full moon, pearly white, though I don't appear to be alone. Growls, snarls and howls echo through the empty void in which I am. Then he appears, standing there looking at the moon, a sad look of longing on his face. He is going to die soon, the end of this year in fact on Christmas Day because he is a werewolf and we are to have a Full Moon that day.

When one becomes a werewolf one is bound to the moon and like Lunarian years they are shortened so more of them pass in one human year. Every two Earthly months is one Lunarian year, he is too old, yet it does not show on his human body but it affects the inside. Both Dumbledore and I know that either I or another member (although there are none and never will be when I am gone if ever) of the Lunarian Royal bloodline can change that, return them to their human state.

I cannot do that and it seems so selfish yet…I would be bounded to him in a way I cannot describe and I cannot do that. Werewolves mate for life and Lunarians are bound for eternity, a substantially longer time.

He moves his head, shoulder length, dusky flaxen hair falling around his face and into his dull amber eyes. He looks at me sadly and I cannot meet his gaze, he comes towards me and I refuse to step down. He is before me and his arms rise to wrap around me, I do not understand these dreams even in my waking mind as I wake up then and there and stairs sleeplessly ahead of me until dawn breaks the horizon.

A letter much like the one I received yesterday flies through my opened window and I understand that Dumbledore will not relent until it is either too late or I come. I read it and find his condition has worsened, he tosses and turns and cannot wake up; he will die in three days. I look out to see snow falling gently outside my window, adding to the already shin deep sludge that keeps me in doors and safe from the cold.

The tree sparkles in the corner of the room and the star glints in the soft light that streams through the window as the sun heats the snow but does little to melt it. I smile gently and look to the letter again, a familiar scene running through my mind.

Cold and wet it hits me between the shoulder blades and I fall forwards having tripped, books cascading from my flailing arms. I am to find myself face first in the snow again at the hands of the Slytherins; I close my eyes as the cold is about to embrace me with open arms. Warm flesh hooks under my shoulders and hoists me up; I look to see the smiling face of a golden haired boy with fiery amber eyes.

"Are you alright miss?" he asks but trails off at the realisation that he doesn't know my name, but I know his. Remus Lupin, fifth year, exams extraordinaire and a member of the infamous Marauders.

"Tsukino, Usagi Tsukino and um," I faltered smiling, "thanks."

"No problem," he grins at me and I grin back, I'm only in third year and leaving to go back to Japan at the end of this year. Remus really is a nice guy, he's helped me with Transfiguration before but, oh it doesn't matter, it's just a silly crush.

But why did it have to be that crush, why not one that was…easier to deal with; I sigh. My eyes wonder distractedly about the room, I worked for the Order before and I still do though I play a very un-active role. Though because of the Order I saw him again, he became a fine man and really smart, to be honest this isn't fair on him. This tugging on my heart, I know I should help him, he was one of Lily's friends, she was really nice to me, I owe this to her really.

He's the only one left, Sirius Black fell into the Veil of Death and James and Lily murdered, Peter tortured for disobedience, we have so much in common really. Both bound to the moon, both friends with Lily and the others, both the only one's left of our entirely separate worlds. He still has Harry potter, I know that but he isn't the same, my Sailor Senshi gone, the Marauder's, gone, just a memory now.

A crystal tear roles down my cheek and a sniff escapes me, the ink runs on the letter and I know what I have to do, I owe this to him even if he has probably forgotten me. I loved Mamo-kun and yet I know that I love him also, am I betraying Mamo-chan, oh I am so confused.

I grab my cloak and fling it about my shoulders, wrapping it tightly about myself holding the letter tightly in my quivering balled fingers. I cannot let him die, my friend's never let me down, I have to do this, in Lily's memory. I know I am merely supplying reasons so I do not have to admit that I am doing this because to let him die would tear my already broken heart into unfixable pieces.

A bright flash and the crescent moon burns golden on my forehead, lively chatter and a shadow looming over his table, the Gryffindor table. There he is, the boy-who-lived, Harry Potter, face down and picking gingerly at his food. Sad faces by him, a brown eyes brunette, a freckled, redheaded Weasley, a nervous, cherubic downcast boy, one with sandy hair and a face that usually bore a grin.

Some of the teacher's chairs scrapped as they were hastily pulled back in an attempt to stand and pull out their wands. They are pointed at me but Dumbledore, fingers laced together under his chin sits calmly starring under my hood. I reach up and lift it away and I call to him, "Where is he?" I ask, I've wasted enough time already, it is Christmas Eve after all; he dies tomorrow.

"Come with me," Dumbledore orders and stands, pushing his chair aside and sweeping to a door adjoining the hall, my eyes widen and I follow, my steps hasty and anxious. McGonagall looks sadly at me and lowers her wand, as does Flitwick, I see Severus, no, Snape, cast me an evil look but I cannot return it.

I follow after Dumbledore ignoring the surprised looks of the Gryffindor's the thoughtful faces of Ravenclaw, the astounded Hufflepuff's and sneers and glares from Slytherin.

I enter a room and there he is, his hair just like in the dream, splayed beneath his head, sweat pouring down it yet he no longer moved, his breathing raged and few and far between. "Remus," I breath out and Dumbledore bids me goodbye, this is it, do I leave and let him go, the last thing I truly have in this world or follow my heart.

I reach for him, why must it be this way, why must you be reduced to this; the moon begins to rise outside the window from which I can see the greenhouses. The full moon's raise hit his face and he goes still, lying peaceful for the first time. His eyes even in death do not relax and he is still frowned in distress, what have I done, I've actually watched him die.

"Remus," I step to him reaching a hand out to him, "Why?" I shake my head as I take his hand, which is cooling rapidly by the second. I brush his knuckles against my cheek, and my tears stain it, "What happened to you, what happened to everyone?" he does not respond though and I can hardly say I expected him too.

His hand is freezing cold and his lips are turning blue, my insignia burns on my forehead as I entwine my fingers with his, I look tot eh moon and it's light seems to be directed at me alone. The light dulls as it soaks into my skin, which grows paler, "What am I to you?" I ask him turning to look at his face, one of his hands in mine, my other cupping his cheek.

My hands attain a gently silver glow which crawls from my wrists; gaining light and energy as it reach my fingers tips, soaking into his hand, intricate line of circulation become apparent as the silver spreads through his very veins. My eyes widened for even I know not what I am doing, his face relaxes; his eyes snap open and cloud over, the same insignia that I bear dissolve onto his forehead.

"What's happening to you?" I ask, I am frightened now but I will not let go of him, as long as there is the chance that I can bring him back I will.

"You can't leave the child, he needs you if anyone does, you're stronger than this Remus I know you are," tears slip down my cheek onto his white skin, "wake up, come back to him."

A silver glow outlines us both and I lean forward over him, my still golden hair slips into his face and my tears fall gently onto his cheeks, his eyelid, his eyelashes and into his silver eyes. His eyes return to their lifeless amber and fall closed once again, I choke back a sob, had I failed.

"Please, I don't care if you don't care about Harry or not, please come back, if not for him, then…for me, just so I can see you one last time," I whisper though I know he's dead as the silver lining fades and my lips connect with his.

Warm life meets cold death, girl meets boy, my eyes slip closed as I press my lips against his own, I don't know why. The situation I suppose, why was I born am emotional fool, he's not so cold anymore, I wonder why.

Maybe I'm warming him up, odd, I don't feel any colder than I was merely five minutes ago, I gasp and my eyes snap open to meet a pair of shining amber one. His hand tightens around me, "Is that you Usagi?" he asks, smiling in that way that is only his at me, I am draped across his chest, our hair falling about us like a great curtain.

"Are you dead?" I asked and he smiles wider.

"Unless we both are," he whispers, "Although we must be, angel's don't fall from heaven," he tells me and I smile, his other hand that does not hold mine trails up my back to my neck, playing with loose hair that it finds there.

"Hardly an angel, I am not nearly so perfect," I inform him though he merely chuckles.

"Perfection is in the eye of the beholder is it not?" he asks and I nod, "I owe you my life you know?" I nod again suddenly mute.

"Why did you change your mind, I didn't think you'd come," he trailed off as though afraid of hurting my feelings.

"I didn't want to," I told him; I know our position is awkward but I didn't want to move.

"I didn't want you to," an invisible hand reached into my chest and clenched around my heart, my smile fell I knew he hated me. "I didn't think I could face seeing you again," he sat up and pulled me into his lap looking down at me, "I missed you."

"I thought you said you didn't want me to come?" I asked looking up at him with tears shining in my eyes, the noise that had come from the Great Hall before was no more, and hadn't been for sometime now, but for some reason, I didn't think we were by it any longer, Hogwarts had a way of doing that.

"Because I knew," he paused, "that if you came you wouldn't stop yourself from doing what's right, but then," he looked saddened now, "I knew you'd leave again.

"I have no business staying here," I whisper and he frowns.

"What do you mean by that?"

"There is no one here to whom I am of any value, I had a destiny to fulfil Remus, I couldn't stay, I couldn't hang around," I insisted, although it pained me to do so as the looks of longing and anguish crossed over his face.

"You shouldn't have come back," he looked away sadly and I reached up to trace my fingers against his cheek, "I'll suffer worse than the pain of death if you leave again."

"No," I mutter, "no," I couldn't accept it, what was he saying, I didn't want to leave him but didn't want to risk loosing him, I had to go.

"We were friends once Usagi," he pulled me up to look him in the eye, "What are we now?" he demanded.

"I don't know," he shook my shoulders slightly.

"Yes you do, I can sense it, I'm bonded to you," I gasped, the bond, of course, I had forgotten, "just tell me Usagi, for better or for worse if you do intend to leave I might as well now."

I looked up into his eyes and I knew he knew, how could he not, he could feel my feelings and he could always see things other couldn't, he looked straight through my eyes, my last line of defence. "You don't have leave you know," he told me as he pressed me forwards towards him.

"But I cannot risk you dieing," I whisper as he comes closer to me.

"I just did, death is a part of life Usagi, fearing it will do you no good," he was inches away now from me.

"I do not fear death, I fear the death of those I love," I warn him and he is merely centimetres away, I can see through into his soul.

"As do I, but that's why we," he paused, millimetres away from me, "take advantage of what we have," and his lips descended on mine, my eyes slipped closed and for a moment I didn't move, one of his hands on the back of my neck and the other at my waist tightened. My arms reach up and loop around hi neck, I shouldn't be doing this, but why can't I push him away? I know why, I love him, but I cannot e with him, I just…

"Be mine?" he asks as he pulls away and I cannot answer, I stand and back away, suddenly afraid, what am I doing, I turn and run, Dumbledore waits by the entrance and although I know he wants to he does not stop me. I heard Remus' pursuit and Dumbledore told him to stop, for that I am grateful. I shouldn't have come, Werewolf's die, people die, why couldn't I just forget, let it go.

But that's just it, I let so much slip through my fingers already, I was the cause of nine deaths and I wasn't there to help Lily, I couldn't stop Sirius, I've done so much wrong.

"Running away?" a cold voice sneers at me and I turn and stare at Severus Snape who is smirking at me.

"What does it matter?" I snarl.

"You've turned into a weakling since last I saw you," he commented and I felt my face grow hot.

"Like you knew me during your school days Severus," I turned to face him.

"You struck as a little more spirited than you are now, but perhaps all that you have is a brain you were after all in Ravenclaw," he sneered and I marched up to him, I wasn't going to cry anymore and this had to stop, I raised my hand and brought it down hard on his cheek.

"Listen to me Snape, you ever make a comment like that about me again in my hearing and you will feel pain," I hissed, my face was red by now and my eyes were clouded with anger, I turned on my heal and stormed away. I was at the gate when I turned to look back and saw the huge castle, tall and proud with a few lights in various windows. I had to leave now, I couldn't come here again, I just couldn't.

"What are you doing odango atama?" a voice I new demanded, I turned and saw the faint image of Sailor Mars before me. They would visit me sometimes like this, but usually only in dreams, not like this, standing before me.

"I," I faltered as Sailor Venus appeared beside the raven haired Rei Hino.

"He loves you, why not love him back?" she asks and I cannot answer, I have no answer to give, long blonde hair tied back with the red ribbon and bright eyes so like my own and yet they were Minako Aino's.

"No one is ever truly gone Usagi-mama," chimed in Sailor Saturn, shoulder length purple hair and big purple eyes and all, Hotaru Tomoe.

"We will come back Koneko," I smiled at the tall, short flaxen haired, navy blue eyes Haruka Tennou and her partner Michiru Keiou who stood resolutely beside her.

Gloved fingers toyed absently with her turquoise hair and her ocean blue eyes fixed on me; "You know that we are right," was all she said.

"Do the smart thing Usagi-chan, follow your heart," said Ami Mizuno, or Sailor Mercury, he short blue hair rustled slightly and her dark blue eyes filed with knowledge and wisdom.

"I just can't," I whisper, "I don't want to be hurt again," my eyes fill with tears; I barely register the harsh crunch of boots on the snow that is also beneath my feet.

"If anyone hurts you Bunny then I will personally kick there ass!" exclaimed the ever ready for a fight Sailor Jupiter, also known Makato Kino, long brown hair swept up in a ponytail and held their with a green bobble hair band. Her bright; forest green eyes were constantly looking around her with childish excitement bubbling within them.

"So would I," they turned and vanished as my eyes connected with the amber ones that haunted my dreams form day one.

"Go back to the school Remus," I whisper and make ready to transport; he leaps at me and holds my upper arms tight, but not enough to hurt.

"You are not leaving again," he orders me looking desperately, pleadingly into my eyes, "I cannot let you, I heard everything they said, whoever they were, friends of yours I presume?" he smiled but I could not return it, I nodded mutely. "Listen Usagi, you may not want to hear it but I," he faltered and ours eyes locked again, "I love you."

Those three words were all it took, why is me head spinning, my thoughts are in turmoil, I know I love him, I am torn between running away again and nurturing my hurt in the lonely solace of solitary confinement. On the other hand I could stay here and tell him I love him, I appear to have no control as the words tumble from my mouth like the snow that is raining form the sky.

"I love you," he smiles bright and a smile tugs at the corners of my lips and then I feel it, that of so good warmth that you know is right.

"I knew you did," he tells me and presses his lips to mine as the snow falls around us and the full moon burning overhead. "Don't leave me?" he asks brushing my hair behind my ear, his forehead pressed to mine.

"You'd have to leave me first," I reply and wrap my arms around his neck, "you won't will you?"

"Not in this lifetime, or any other," he assures me and my eyes slip shut as I fall unconscious against his chest.

**4 some reason me love Remus x Usagi, cute couple. Newayz next up is the Sirius x Usagi ONESHOT!!!!**

**After that, well how about a vote?**

**Okay, the ONESHOT after the S x U 1 who will Usagi be with third? :-**

**a. Severus Snape**

**b. Harry Potter**

**c. Draco Malfoy**

**d. Ron Weasley (I'm going 2 give it a shot)**

**e. Blaise Zabini (He's only mentioned in the 1st book at the sorting, what a shame)**

**f. Lockhart (Could happen!)**

**g. Tom Riddle (When he's at school, not fully fledge Moldy Voldy)**

**h. Lucius Malfoy (Fling! *)**

**i. Fred Weasley**

**j. George Weasley**

**k. Charlie Weasley**

**l. Bill Weasley**

**m. Someone you suggest because i have now run out of people who I think would be okay!**

***A friend of mine is going to write a story about Narcissa and Sirius at school and they have a few flings and when they r 20 they have a spot of bother when Narcissa gets pregnant. She has the baby and gives it to Sirius when she become betrothed to Lucius. If anyone has any suggestions about this idea e-mal them to sutoriitoenzeru@dial.pipex.com!**


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